A 1915 comic song version written to a popular eccentric Fox-Trot by the same name. Words by L. Wolfe Gilbert Music by S. R. Henry
Sheet Music
Accompaniment
Lyrics
1. Old Josh who came to town from Oskaloosa
To sell his oldest milking brindle cow
Said he, “Now she’s a reg’lar lallapaloosa”
Betch yer forty dollars she will fetch ten beans
By Heck! this is a rattling lively city
By Gosh! just look at all those ‘lectric cars
By Gum! it surely is a doggone pity
Didn’t put a half a dollar in my jeans”
Chorus
“Oh what a town, makes me feel just like a clown
Here I’m walking up and down
With a cow, by Heck! wow!
I’m some darn fool, I’m a devil as a rule
Guess I’ll swap ‘er for a mule
My jewel, it’s cruel, by Heck!
Oh! what a town (honest to goodness I am sore)
Makes me feel just like a clown (never come back here any more)
Here I’m walking up and down (with a valise)
And a cow (where’s the police?), by Heck! wow!
I’m some darn fool (like a kid just out of school)
I’m a devil as a rule (I’m the village constabule)
Guess I’ll swap ‘er for a mule (dollar to boot)
My jewel (isn’t she cute)
It’s cruel, By Heck! wow!”
2. Josh went into a place that they call “Rector”
The girls wore dresses mostly cut away
A boy stood at the door and called him “Hector”
Said “I’ll take your hat and coat, sir, if I may
By Heck! that stirred the blood in Uncle Joshway
Said he, “I’m not as foolish at I look
By Gosh! my brother used to be a burglar
Knew it in a minute that you was a crook”